day 55

I am so sorry to have lost you. I wish that there was most that I could have been there for, and I wish that we could have known each other better. I know that you were an incredible person, full of kindness and happiness, so it hurts me to think that I couldn't have seen you more. Thank you for living and loving so full, because it has taught me to do the same.

I wish you were still here, I love you.

day 54

I didn't want to, but I can't help it. You are on my mind again. Stop it, its annoying. I don't even know how you are able to weasel your way into my thoughts. This just really needs to be the end because I cannot handle what you made me feel. I'm sorry you were done with me before I was done with you. Thats what it all comes down to.

day 53

20 days means that I don't want to think about you anymore. For whatever reason, you hurt me. I hate that you could make me doubt myself, and I hope that I can learn from you. Yet, I can't regret you, you were not a mistake. You can be replaced.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Navl4fYI-Zk

day 52

KEIGHTY, you are so inspiring to me everyday.

Thank you, I love you.

day 51

When we really want something, we are told that we have to work for it. You know, to "never give up" and to "reach for the stars". If we follow this plan of hard work and perseverance we are supposed to get what we want. Or at least that is what Disney movies have taught me. Either that is a lie, or I am going to be in my grave before I get what I want.

But the truth is that I feel like I am working for what I want, but maybe, just maybe, I'm not working hard enough. I wish that I was fearless and flawless and walked in 6 inch heels all over anyone who has ever crossed me. If that was me, I wouldn't be me. I guess I just have to wait for the right person to come around to want to work for me, and not the other way around. Not that I should sit around and wait for my prince charming to find my missing shoe and come looking for me. It's more like, My prince charming will lose his shoe at the same party that I lose my shoe at and we will eventually find each other and have warm feet once more. Equality is what really matters, because as soon as you feel like things aren't 50/50, nothing feels right.

day 50

At this very moment the world is spinning and I'm just sitting around wasting my time. How annoying of me. I should be using my limited time, but alas, I'd rather be on facebook. I should just get a life already.

and also, seriously?

day 49

There was I time where you were always in my thoughts. You were good to me, and I in turn was good to you. I guess that sometimes friendships become lopsided, it happens. I think that I was just wrong to think that it was turning into something else. Silly me, my mistake. My lesson has been learned, I touched and I was burned. But in the end I am glad because of you. I got what I wanted; a moment with you, just a couple nights. We had really big plans! I couldn't wait, but you were a let down.

Sometimes I let myself take the blame for things that are not my fault. You were the one who let me down. But don't be sorry, because it was you who helped me know better. So instead of being bitter about you, I want to thank you. Thank you so much, because even though you don't mind letter our friendship wither away, I still got the opportunity to learn about you, and from you.