day 16

The beach today was so beautiful, and I realized that I really should be taking more pictures. Of everything and anything. I guess thats my summer resolution, or one of them at least. But then again, I always love the idea of resolutions, like for new years etc. but I never really follow through with that. Maybe deep down, I just don't care enough about what i'm resolving to actually get it done. I hate doing things I don't want to do. Today was was so desperate to get out of something that I completely lied to someone. It really isn't such a big deal, but I feel really MEAN, and I hate feeling mean. There is just a feeling that you know you have done the wrong thing, and I don't want to fix what I've done, I guess I just wish I was more direct and honest in the first place, because I only put myself in these situations. Anywho, my morals say that I should tell the truth, but my mind is so set against it that I can't do it. I'll get over it. If only the people in my life could read my mind, so I never had to deal with the messy parts. Maybe thats what I'm avoiding, not a person as much as a situation. Sometimes It's just so hard to read other people. Who wants you vs who wants to get to know you. EVERYONE SHOULD JUST MAKE THEIR INTENTIONS CLEAR. Because it's too difficult to try to judge what someone is really thinking from a text or a little chat. Actually, for me its impossible. I need it spelled out. If I can't figure what to make of something or someone, I avoid it. Thats all, I'm simply a coward.